What is Low Self-Confidence?
Low self-confidence occurs when individuals perceive themselves as lacking value. This perception, known as self-worth, is multifaceted, influenced by various factors that shape how we view ourselves and, consequently, how confident we feel.
Self-confidence, according to Shrauger & Schohn, (1995) is someone’s “perceived capability to deal effectively with various situations” and is based on one’s skills and competence. So when an individual has low self-confidence, they believe they will not be good enough to deal with various scenarios and thus have an overall low self-worth.
Signs of Low Self-Confidence:
You are often critical of yourself.
You feel like you don't have much to offer.
You feel undeserving of others' love and support.
You find it difficult to assert yourself or express your needs.
You avoid trying new things or taking on challenges due to fear of failure.
You downplay your achievements or dismiss praise from others.
You frequently seek validation and approval from others to feel worthy.
You often feel overwhelmed or inadequate when faced with responsibilities or tasks.
You have trouble setting boundaries and tend to prioritize their needs over yours.
The Causes of Low Self-Confidence
Self-confidence isn't just about how we feel—it's also about where we come from and what we've been through.
Think about growing up in a place where criticism was the norm or dealing with people who made you doubt yourself. These experiences stick with us, shaping how we see ourselves. But it's not just our past—today's world bombards us with messages about what we should look like and what success should mean. And let's not forget the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect or the times when we've been told we're not good enough.
Other causes of low self-esteem are:
Feeling a lack of control in your own life
Being bullied or abused
Social and career challenges
Feeling out of place
Concerns about your appearance leading to comparison
Fear of criticism and failure
Difficulties achieving goals
Cultural and societal pressure
The Effects Of Low Self-Confidence
Imagine waking up each day feeling unsure of yourself, doubting your abilities, and questioning your worth. That's the reality of low self-confidence—it seeps into every part of our lives, making us hesitant, demotivated, and hesitant.
When we don't believe in ourselves, it's natural to want to avoid situations that might highlight our insecurities. We might find ourselves skipping social events or shying away from challenges at work or school, all because we're afraid of not measuring up. But the avoidance only reinforces our negative feelings, trapping us in a cycle of self-doubt.
As we retreat further into ourselves, our relationships suffer, and our ambitions take a hit. We might settle for jobs or opportunities that don't fulfil us simply because we don't feel capable of more. In the end, low self-confidence becomes a roadblock holding us back from reaching our full potential.
Self-Esteem Vs Self-Worth
The two terms are very similar, and some use them interchangeably, stating that there isn't a significant difference, however, there are slightly noticeable contrasts between what factors affect them.
Self-esteem operates more on the surface, responding to external circumstances and events. For instance, our self-esteem may rise following a successful task completion but plummet upon receiving criticism, triggering fears of inadequacy and incompetence.
Self-worth, unlike self-esteem, is a more enduring concept, rooted in the core aspects that define us. It remains relatively constant, unaffected by external events or others' perceptions, as it encompasses a deeper understanding of our inherent value and worthiness.
The Long-Term Effects Of Low Self-Esteem
When we carry persistent negative perceptions of ourselves, the consequences reach beyond mere emotional distress such as:
Anxiety
Depression
Disordered eating
Stress
Substance misuse
Alcohol dependent
Addicting patterns of negative behaviours
Self-isolation
Ways To Heal
Therapy tackles the root causes of low self-confidence by addressing maladaptive coping mechanisms, negative thought patterns, and self-criticism. Through therapy, we can begin to feel valued and understood.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Addresses low self-confidence by turning negative thoughts and behaviours into positive habits. Through techniques like cognitive restructuring, you learn to recognise and reshape negative beliefs into positive affirmations and a can-do mindset. This transformative process not only boosts our self-worth but also creates a feeling of resilience.
Exposure Therapy
Gradually exposes you to situations triggering low self-confidence and avoidance to confront your fears and anxieties. By facing these challenges alongside the therapist, you discover that what you've been avoiding isn't as daunting as you believed, empowering you to overcome your self-doubt.
Rational Emotive Therapy
A branch of CBT which engages you in challenging irrational beliefs, fostering a shift towards more realistic responses. By promoting self-acceptance and embracing failure as a natural part of the journey, we learn to navigate life with adequate emotional accuracy.
Steps to Enhance Self-Confidence
Therapy can be a great tool for nurturing self-confidence, but there are also many personal practices you can embrace in everyday life that can help with self-confidence:
Keeping promises to yourself, reinforcing self-trust.
Taking bold actions in the face of self-doubt.
Surrounding yourself with positive and encouraging individuals.
Showing compassion to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Focusing on your own journey rather than comparing yourself to others.
Allowing yourself to take up space and be present.
Prioritizing your own opinions over the judgments of others.
Celebrating each small victory along the way.
Embracing challenges as opportunities to boost your confidence and resilience.
While the journey to self-confidence presents its challenges, every step forward is a stride toward embracing our authentic selves.
Recommendations
